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Personal Space

by Sam Villanueva, Visuals Staff

photo by Lilly Quaid

Moving on sucks. You adjust to something, allow yourself to get comfortable in its walls, and suddenly the floor is pulled out from underneath you and where you stand is a scary, unfamiliar place.

I get this feeling after I finish a book, after my fingers became familiar with the edges of the pages and find themselves reaching for nothing at the end. A bittersweet feeling slips into my heart, and all I can think about for a solid month is what happened between those sacred pages. There is one book series in particular that I will always remember getting this feeling from: “The Darkest Minds” trilogy, by Alexandra Bracken. I truly fell for the characters and their desperation to find a place in society. Last Saturday, I had the honor of meeting her, and talking to her about her novels that meant so much to me as a sophomore was the most fulfilling moment. The same feelings I had reading the book were washing over me, and I remembered why moving on was so poignant.

Honestly, I couldn’t read any other books because all I could think about were the turmoils that the characters went through during the trilogy. The resurfacing memories of heartbreak remind me of lot of the circumstances I’m under now. I had to move on from “The Office” after finishing it over break, my frustration with college apps, and even a crush that I just couldn’t let go of. I had adjusted to all of these, from something as miniscule as not doing homework over break to yearning for someone I knew I lost and would never get back. So I sat down one day, made a playlist titled “moving on”, and dealt with my shit. And that’s all you really can do. I was so tired of feeling gloomy, listening to sad songs while driving through the rain to avoid my problems and dwell on what could’ve been. But you can’t do that to yourself. Life has no boundaries, and everything might change, but you can’t go about your life thinking about the past. It’s over and done with, and the universe won’t wait for you. So whether it be a book, a boy, or the FAFSA that sits unfinished in a tab on your computer, you can get over it, and let go of the burden that you’ve been carrying for so long.

 

little indulgences

  • “Pretty. Odd.” and “Vices & Virtues” by Panic! At The Disco
    • It has taken me years to do this, but I am so glad to have finally listened to them. Everything about these two albums makes me want to sing and dance along no matter where I am or what I’m doing.
  • “Kill Your Darlings”

Sad, gay poets take on their feelings in a World War II era movie! This is an old favorite of mine, and I love it so much that I have a note in my phone titled, I hate myself, which is filled with quotes from this movie. It’s great, guys.